Stories Volume 4 > September 2020 ​

Introduction > Stories #93 to #120

 Here we are, in September 2020. This month we share a vivid array of true stories – from motorbike adventures across Australia, to an impossible love affair, from China to Leeds – with photographic portraits from Mike Pinches and others to help bring the stories, and the personalities behind them, to life. From the beginning of June 2020, we have been gathering a growing collection of stories – all of which reflect the lives and rich experiences of older people living in Leeds and beyond. It has been a difficult and painful time for us all: Covid 19 has brought considerable hardship, loneliness and loss to so many. Our Covid Diaries of July and August reflect this only too well. But September brings much to celebrate. And at the Performance Ensemble, we believe in the power of the human spirit – and of real human stories – to help us heal, reflect and move forward. After September, we will be taking a pause from this process to work on exciting new plans for the future. Meanwhile enjoy reading – and maybe you have a story of your own, that you would like to share with us? Be in touch.

Edited by Barney Bardsley

Alex Elliott - 'You Are My Sunshine' from 'Anniversary' - Story #93

Alex Elliott in "Anniversary" Leeds Playhouse September 2016 : Photo Ant Robling

Alex Elliott ‘You Are My Sunshine’ from ‘Anniversary’

Dominique Olley. Paris. We were in a beautiful flat in Ile St Louis. It was spring, it was idyllic. I was smitten. Until I realised I wasn’t her first choice and she regretted the decision. She would rather someone else was there instead of me. I still love Paris. Always will. In fact my daughter was conceived there – and Dominique Olley had nothing to do with that.

Clemencia Augusta Ramirez Sosa. We met at the cinema in Tunja, Columbia, and we didn’t leave my room for three days. She invited me to Tolima to her family home and it took over a day and a half to get there – and then her boyfriend turned up. I had to listen to their pantherine love making in the next room for about an hour. The next day I took the bus home.

Hulme,  Manchester. The Red Eagle. Sue. They were knocking down most of the Crescents. Drug squad were in.  I was in the pub with my girlfriend. A man came and was being a nuisance… A man who was called Assassin. I swore at him in Spanish. But because I didn’t beat him with a pool cue she left. I was broken hearted.

Anne Spice - Haircut - Story #94

Anne Spice – Haircut

I have a friend, who, like all of us during the Corona Virus lockdown, was unable to get a haircut. So she decided to cut her fringe herself.  She got a large plastic pudding basin, plonked it on her head and trimmed the fringe. The result was jagged and uneven. 

She goes for a walk early every morning, and meets nobody. Lo and behold, the other week – the day after the disastrous attempt with the nail scissors – who should be walking towards her but her hairdresser!

You can guess what this expert said to my friend…

Debra Lane - Motorbike Ride to Berlin - Story #95

Debra Lane – Motorbike Ride to Berlin

In 1988, the year before the Berlin Wall came down, my friend and I decided to each ride a motorcycle across Europe to Berlin. I was riding a GT380 Suzuki – the largest I could ride, and still get my feet on the ground.

At this time, to get to Berlin, you had to ride specific corridor roads. A few miles down one of these roads, we were stopped by the police (with several large guns). A policeman shouted “Speeding!” at my friend, but waved me on. He then promptly opened a car boot with a typewriter in the back, and typed up a fine which had to be paid straight away. My friend shouted “Souvenir!” I started to panic – he paid the fine – and then we both rode off, passing all the villages in East Germany, surrounded by walls, until we finally arrived in Berlin.

Roger Harington - Wall of Words - Story #96 is a poem

Roger Harington – Wall of Words

There are words which,

When I read them, make me think

I’d like to remember this, it’s

Wise or witty, may

Tell me what I know but with a

Precisely arresting clarity, whereas

Other words I like can lead me

Beyond what I know, they’re

Searching, reaching out

Beyond the border of

Accurate awareness, the words

Suggest, evoke a possibility, the

Hint of a thought, an idea, they

Serve, honour, wonder at

Life’s encapsulating mysteries, they

Haunt me, they’re 

All in my quotation book where the words are like

Bricks, they make a wall for a

Reservoir to store a supply to

Tap each morning so they can

Nourish intentions

Irrigate the will, enable a

Sense of a self to grow who is

Calmly purposing directions, but

Here they come again, how life must love

Planning these raids to fly in low to drop the

Bomb that cracks the wall so

Rage is bursting through to

Drown my mature intentions so I have to

Keep on and on rebuilding.

Rita Keeley - Birthday Bus - Story #97

Rita Keeley – Birthday Bus

In May 2018 I had a birthday with a nought in it. My fellow volunteers at Leeds Playhouse Costume Hire threw me a surprise party after work. This meant that at 10pm I was catching a bus with a gift bag full of presents and a large bouquet of roses. The bus was fairly full, including two couples who were still having a great – and loud – time at the end of the night, and one of them asked “Have you won a prize?” (We were outside a bingo hall at the time). “Oh no” I said, “It’s my birthday,” and the four of them immediately sang Happy Birthday at the tops of their voices. The ringleader then realised she didn’t know my name, and when I told her, she went round all the bus and got everyone to join in (even three teenage lads on the back seat who looked as if they wanted to disappear under the seat). They rounded it off with three cheers – and I was still smiling when I got back home.

Peter Spafford - Summer, Her, Then - Story #98

Peter Spafford – Summer, Her, Then  

It’s a late summer’s evening, 1981.

I’m standing in the queue for The Prom. It’s a long queue, several blocks long. Sun on South Kensington. I don’t even know what they’re playing tonight or who’s playing. Being here is enough. After two years in the depths of Dorset, I’m finally moving to London.

 

She’s reading a book, she’s on her own: two things I notice. She’s also fifteen yards ahead of me in the queue and engrossed in that book, which gives me ample opportunity, over a full forty minutes, to fall in love with her.

 

But I’m twenty four and I’ve fallen in love many times, perhaps several times that day.

 

It’s the interval. As a promenader (£5 in), I’ve chosen to stand on the balcony that circles the Albert Hall auditorium a long way up. And there she is, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. That book again.

 

Above her: an emergency exit sign. The lighting in the word ‘exit’ is broken. But ‘emergency’ is lit. Emergency. Emerge.

 

I’ve sat down beside her. I haven’t thought about this but I’m there. “We managed to get in then”, I say. She looks up at me blankly. “Long queue?”, I mutter. “Yes”, she says. There’s an accent.

 

She’s French, she’s a student, she’s been working in London for six months and she’s been coming to the Prom every night. This is the last. She goes home tomorrow.

 

We stand together in the second half. Janacek’s Sinfonietta. That brassy fanfare: for beginnings, for hope, written at the birth of the Czechoslovak republic after the First World War. And after the concert we sit for two hours in Regent’s Park. I’m moving to London in a week, it’s a summer’s evening, and I’m sitting out in the park in the thrumming city dark, talking to a French girl.

Who’s leaving tomorrow.

We write to each other for six months. In the spring of the following year, 1982,  she comes back to England and gives me an LP: The Rite of Spring. We spend April together. We spend the summer together, in County Kerry, in Prague. In the autumn she visits twice and I take the photos of her, that I still have in a battered plastic album in the bookcase. I know which shelf it’s on.

In the winter I break up with her without knowing why.

Maureen Lindsay - Bus Stop - Story #99

Maureen Lindsay – Bus Stop                                                                              

I’ve travelled on the number 50 bus route from Morris Lane via Burley Road to Leeds city centre for over thirty years, and  I am constantly fascinated by the changes I see along the way. Sitting here, I find myself thinking of the people who live in all the houses. Are they retired now? Have they moved on? How do they manage with heavy shopping, when the route from the road to their front door is up such a steep path? It must be murder in rain and snow.

Ah! There’s the window pane with snowflakes painted on it. It’s been there for over a year, the remnants of Christmas well past. Who are they? Don’t they ever clean their windows? The shops have changed. There are no butchers, nor bakers; no hardware shops nor drapers. Now it’s all sandwich shops, cafes and take-aways. Hairdressers, barbers and beauty salons are common too,  and one is a very elaborate shop front – for the Thai Massage and Therapy Centre. I wonder what goes on in there? Two pubs have gone: one is now a small Tesco and it looks very quaint; the other has been completely demolished, and there are houses and flats  being built on the site. That will be something new for me to concentrate on.

Numerous high rise halls of residence have been built near Park Lane, for first year students at the two universities. I hear these are lovely –  with all mod cons, to help new students settle into life away from home. In subsequent years they will have to rough it in private rents out in Headingley, Hyde Park and Harehills.On we go to West Gate, the Headrow and the Law Courts. The Courts are a strange red and cream brick building with green pillars. I had a wooden construction set like that as a child. Perhaps the architect had one, too? I wonder when someone will design a building like a pile of Lego. I can’t wait to see that. Oh, here’s my stop, must get off. Thank you driver.

Peter Clarke - Kindness of Strangers - Story #100

Peter Clarke – Kindness of Strangers

I woke up with back pain, which has been the norm for the past few weeks, but today I am determined to go out for a good walk. My friend Diane has suggested meeting in the park near my house, keeping to social distancing of course. I managed to leave my house yesterday, for the first time this month, and go to my local shop for milk and bread. It hurt, but it was so satisfying. I get a text at 2.30pm. She’s on her way. Harehills Park is only a few minutes walk from my house, but today it’s a painful shuffle, and it’s probably taken me twice as long to get there. I find a well needed bench in the sunshine near the entrance to wait for Diane to turn up. The back pain makes me uncomfortable but it seems to disappear when Diane finally arrives.

It’s so strange on meeting, not to go straight in for a hug, and we sit at opposite ends of the bench, like nervous teenagers on a first date. We chat and laugh about what life in isolation has been like. Not having seen each other for ten weeks, there’s lots to say, and we continue as we walk to the next bench, where I have to sit and rest again. I am definitely feeling the benefit of being out of my house. I walk Diane to the bus stop, and she leaves with a wave – and no hug. 

I hobble home to find that, somewhere along the walk, I’ve lost my wallet. Pretty depressed after such a good afternoon, I cancel cards and text Diane, who offers to come back and go look for it, but I’ve no idea where it could have dropped. A knock at my door a couple of hours later, and the guy who owns Misha Food Shop is standing at my door, wanting to know if I’ve lost my wallet, as he found it near his shop, all intact. I’m dumbfounded. I offer him some cash for returning it, which he refuses. I am so thankful, not so much for the money, the cards or the driving licence – but I have two irreplaceable pictures in my wallet, one of me and my mum when I was one year old, and one of Abbie my first grandchild, when she was two years old. They’re priceless to me.

I do, when I can, volunteer for Leeds Cares, a charity that does so much for many hospitals in Yorkshire. So I make a donation of £20 in the name of Misha Food Shop as a thank you for returning my wallet. They will even send a card to Misha, to let him know about the donation, which is great. So, a day of highs and lows and highs again. I go to bed with the kindness of friends and strangers in my head, and a twinge of pain in my back:  a reminder that it’s not done with me yet.

Naseem Ashfaq - The New Normal - Story #101

Naseem Ashfaq – The New Normal 

As lock down has started to ease, and wearing face masks has become compulsory in shops: this is another challenge to confront. But it is making me a stronger person. It’s just one more obstacle to overcome.  Each challenge that Covid 19 throws at me, makes me  more resilient, and I am surprised at how well I am coping.  We are all much stronger than we think we are  – something  we may  only realise, when that strength is put to the test.  I believe we can adapt to almost anything that life presents us with. These may be things over which we have little or no control – but making the most of our situation, is the best and only way forward.

Mike Thompson - Football Crazy - Story #102

Mike Thompson – Football Crazy

From the age of eight, I’d always wanted to be a footballer. At sixteen, my dream came true, and I was signed, on school boy forms, for Bradford City. I knuckled down to my training, and drank my raw egg in milk every day. Then, when my chance came to claim a place in the juniors team, I took it with both feet. But all that came to a stop twelve games later, when I was kicked by a Sunderland Junior player, just before half time in the juniors match, down at Bradford’s Valley Parade. A dislocated ankle, plus a double fracture of my tibia and fibia, put paid to my dreams of becoming a professional. Forty three years – and thirty one jobs – later, I retired. I was sixty one years old. Football had long since passed me by. But, after a trip to Australia, and seeing my cousins over there all involved in the game, I came back with a renewed vigour to play again.

My only option then was Walking Football. “I know that won’t be any good!” But I gave it a try – and it is fantastic. I play football now, both socially & competitively, in leagues, tournaments and friendlies.

In 2017, I was at a Bradford City Forum, and talked about demonstrating Walking Football on the Bradford City football pitch at half time. It was agreed. And just three weeks later, I took twenty seven people, aged from fifty to seventy three years old, from Wakefield Walking Football Club to Bradford City. It was absolutely amazing to see how everyone loved it, including the seventy year olds. There was one man in particular I remember, who has Parkinson’s Disease. He has never stopped smiling since! This led to Bradford City asking if we wanted to be their go-to team, for representing Bradford City in any future Walking Football events. Answer: yes please. Since then, my Wakefield Walking Football team mates and I have represented Bradford City in various Walking Football tournaments, and I have very proudly worn their shirts. At the last event, I even scored the winning goal, which won us third place out of  the sixty teams entered. I have not stopped smiling ever since, either. So – I am no longer ‘retired’. I’m a Wakefield Wanderers Walking Footballer!

Malcolm Wetherill - Moving Forward - #103

Malcolm Wetherill – Moving Forward

Hi folks, I’m Malcom. I was born in Wortley, and I lived there most of my life. When I was growing up, I  took the number  49 or 42 bus from Wortley to Farnley, to get to school. But I gave it up because I enjoyed walking. When I started work, I took the 42 bus again into Leeds city centre. I worked on the railway. My dad worked on the railway too. He was a carriage cleaner. I was a messenger – mail boy –  and I had a beautiful uniform.  As well as distributing the mail every day, I used to go to the fish shop in Wellington Street on a Wednesday and Friday, and collect fish and chips and take them back to the office for all the staff. They were good days.

Then I got a job at Morrisons in the Merrion Centre. Same bus: different job. I was filling shelves and pricing food. But it only lasted two weeks. I was born with nerves and anxiety and I didn’t find it easy to get a job. But after that I did get a job at Oxleys Leeds Ltd in Wortley, which had been a family owned DIY shop since 1930  – and I stayed there for twelve years. I left in 1985, when it closed down. Then my dad moved up to Chapel Allerton. He loved it there, because it was very quiet, and  nobody bothered  him. So I decided to move up to Gledhow to be near him.

Oxleys Leeds had closed down by now – so I tried to get another job. But I was finding it a bit difficult. My anxiety and nerves were getting worse. I suffered from heart trouble, high blood pressure and fatigue, too, and I went to the doctors to get some help. I couldn’t work any more, and I was put on benefits. I’ve been on benefits since 1985.

On 21st February, 2017, my dad died. It affected me very badly. Sometimes I’ve felt like slitting my throat, that’s how badly it got to me. I really miss him.

I go to the doctors at the Medical Centre at Rutland Lodge in Chapel Allerton. They told me about  Feel Good Factor, a healthy living centre in Chapeltown, and suggested I go there. I have been going there for fifteen months now. I’m in there on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and  Friday, and I go to the Social Club on a Saturday.  That’s where I found out about the Bus Pass project. It sounded good and I wanted to be involved. I still enjoy walking, but sometimes I take the bus from Gledhow to Chapeltown: the number 2, 3,  3A or the 48. I’ve got a good choice. I do feel better now,  but there are still ups and downs. I’ve always enjoyed music, so on a Tuesday I come to the computer course and listen to my favourite singer Leroy Van Dyke. Doing all this helps my nerves and anxiety – helps me move forward in my life.

Lan and Eric - Love Story - Story #104

Lan and Eric – Love Story

This is Worker Lan from Shenzhen, China. I want to share my love story with a British policeman. In March 2017, I hosted a Spring Gala in Shenzhen, China. My future husband Eric was in the audience. It was his first time visiting his friend in China. After the two hour performance, he was deeply attracted by the elegant hostess, and  asked his friend if the beautiful lady was still single? The answer came back: yes! 

Helped by his friend, we got to know each other, and became friends. I am usually wary of foreigners, not just because of the language barrier, but culturally too. They are too open for me!  But Eric seemed to be a gentleman, so we started to communicate on the phone from our separate countries using translators, because we didn’t speak each other’s language. As time passed, our two hearts got closer. I was touched by his sincerity, kindness, humour and enthusiasm. Finally I agreed that I would marry him.

In November 2017, Eric flew over to Shenzhen on his own. Witnessed by my family, friends and colleagues, he proposed to me – and everyone blessed us. After that we went travelling together – visiting Beijing and Hong Kong, and all the while, getting to know each other better. After the ten-day trip, I was sure that Eric was the Mr Right I had been looking for. 

On 21st November 2017, we flew to UK, where Eric was born and brought up, and where we would start our new life together. Two spectacular ceremonies were held – one in Shenzhen, and one in the UK. My daughter’s family came over from Canada, to help us celebrate. Three months went by, and then I was invited by the director of the Spring Gala in Shenzhen, to help my students prepare for their performance.  I discussed it with Eric and he was very supportive: this is a job I loved. So I went back to China, and the performance was a big success – even winning first prize. 

But when I came to travel back to the UK, I was stopped by customs officials and accused of  trying to gain British citizenship through a fake marriage. What’s worse,  I could speak little English, and failed to fill in the immigration form correctly. They took away all my documents: passport, ID card, and private belongings –  but found nothing suspicious. 

In the meantime, Eric had been waiting for me at the airport for over eight hours, without knowing what was going on.  He was so worried about me. I asked the officers if I could make a phone call to my husband. The moment I heard his voice, all my sadness poured out, and I couldn’t stop crying. On the other end of the phone, he kept repeating these three words: “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

In the following days, Eric  hired a senior lawyer and sorted everything out. It was very costly, and we were thankful to his brother, for helping financially, during our hardest of times. Eric has given me everything he has. Now I know for sure, he is the right man, and we will keep our love alive, until the end of the world.

Jeanne Wrigglesworth - Poldark - Story #105

Jeanne Wrigglesworth in 'Bus Ride' at Queens Hotel Sept 2018 Photo: Mike Pinches

Jeanne Wrigglesworth – Poldark

I was sitting on a bus the other day with my friend, listening to a couple of women in front of me. They were chatting about watching Poldark on the television the night before.

One of them said, “Oh, wasn’t it so sad when that woman died?”

The other replied, “Yes, but that sort of thing used to happen in those days!”

Hilary Andrews - New Zealand - Story #106

Hilary Andrews – New Zealand

On 25th April, 1992, my husband died of a cerebral tumour.  My three children had all left home: my daughter was busy as a young doctor; my eldest son was married, and was also busy as a training NHS doctor; the youngest was at university in London.

Whilst I busied myself with my work in sexual health, caring for newly diagnosed HIV patients – watching them slowly die, as there was no treatment available then –  I soon felt the need to do more with my life.

An advertisement in the British Medical Journal for a sexual health physician, to run the clinic in Wellington, New Zealand, seemed to be calling me to escape. An interview over the telephone, and then a formal interview in Wellington, and the job was mine if I wanted it. Was I foolish to go? I really don’t know, but on 4th January, 1995 I flew to the other end of the world – and to my new life.

So much happened in the five years I was there. There were only six sexual health physicians for both the North and South Islands, which meant I became the government spokesperson on the subject, and attended regular meetings at the Beehive – the beautiful New Zealand Parliament building – to update Health Minister Bill English on figures, and give my ideas for health policy. Sometimes I went to meet  Prime Minister Jenny Shipley, for her cocktail evenings,  and was even introduced to Madeleine Allbright, when she was USA  Secretary of State. Heady stuff for a lass from Yorkshire. Of course it was hard work, lecturing to medical students and Maori health workers, and touring the country, to organise teaching courses for GPs who were the mainstay of the service. But there were perks, as well as hard work. We presented our work all over the world –  Australia, Switzerland, Germany –  and met famous figures in the field, all the while travelling in business class, and staying in five star hotels.

So why did I leave? I had come back home once, for my daughter’s wedding, but had already missed the birth of two grandchildren –  and a third was on the way. So reluctantly I left New Zealand, and after a six month stint treating Aboriginal Australians in Alice Springs, I returned to  Leeds. Then, for my final five years of a working life, I moved to Watford and worked with HIV patients from Zimbabwe. Things were much more hopeful for them, this time around. And now? I’m content for a reassuring pat on the head, from my children and my eight grandchildren, when Sunday comes around!

Edwin Long - Living the Life - Story #107

Edwin Long – Living the Life

I’ve lived in Leeds for more than forty years. I was a shy, well behaved, stay-at-home boy until my late fifties. Then I broke away from my former self to become a free spirit: travelling the world and having experiences I could never have dreamed of before.

There were night clubs, dancing, speed dating… At sixty three I learned rock climbing, and clambered over the rocks in Tenerife. Although I am afraid of water, I got my PADI certificate (Professional Association of Diving Instructors), and dived the Barrier Reef. I mixed with the Ladyboys and Girls in Thailand, and walked naked on foreign beaches. There was karaoke in public bars, music festivals, and much, much more.

A few years ago, I decided to go and  live abroad in the sunshine. After several months in Jamaica, followed by Southern Spain, I finally found my utopia in Austin, Texas, USA. To get permission to live in the States, I set about owning my own business. After a spell of life coaching, I acquired my own franchise business with Adam and Eve, the leading company for adult pleasure products in the US. But now I’m in a predicament. As yet, I have not completed all the business arrangements, so I had to depart from the US, after the ninety days permitted for a visitor’s stay. Now – because of the pandemic – they won’t let me back. So I’m trapped over here in the UK.

I’m picking up some of my former connections in Leeds again, and am looking for new ventures. I like the idea of being an entertainer, and of making people laugh. I like to dress expressively and colourfully, and have recently joined some modelling agencies. Most of all, I would love to perform male burlesque. I am a member of the Austin Academy of Burlesque, USA. I performed on stage there and got a terrific audience response. At seventy one years of age, you could say, I’m thoroughly enjoying my adolescence!

Connie Hodgson - Born in Madeira - Story #108

Connie Hodgson – Born in Madeira

I was born in Madeira. It’s a beautiful island in the Atlantic Ocean.  My family was friendly with an English family from Leeds. After their baby boy was born, they were  home sick and went back to Leeds. When I was sixteen, they offered me a chance to come to England for two years, to work as their au pair. And I came. I still have contact with that family. The boy is now grown up, and lives in Saltaire. When I was eighteen, and the Immigration Officer asked me why I wanted to stay in England, I had no idea what to say. I think I muttered something about bigger dance halls – and he laughed. After that, I got a job at Carlton Studios magazine.

If you asked me if I was homesick – yes I was. Sometimes I cried. But I would never admit it to my family back home. Anyway, they all followed me a few years later. Both of my sisters and my parents settled in West Yorkshire. My mother died in March 2020. She would have been ninety-five in June. My sisters and I all married here and had children. I have three children, eight grandchildren and two great grandchildren, with one more (a girl) expected in October 2020. I see all of them now and then, but they have busy lives – and I have a busy life too!

I have had several different jobs, but for the last thirty years I worked as a nurse. At first I didn’t think I would make it, because it is a demanding profession. But I liked the contact with people – and it is a rewarding job. I remember meeting the actor Paul Eddington: Margo’s husband from television’s The Good Life. We treated him while he was acting at the Alhambra in Bradford. He was friendly and charming to everyone, and would come and chat to me whilst I was tidying up after the clinic. His wife would join him there, and she said she loved Yorkshire. It was so sad when he died – he was still quite young.

I’ve been back to Madeira a few times. I think that’s why I like nature and the open air so much. My dad – who was an electrician and worked with wires – also grew flowers and vegetables: he was always outside. But my mum was never interested. When I retired I took dancing lessons – and even some exams! It was at a dance session in Mytholmroyd that I met Alan Lyddiard from Leeds Playhouse. He wanted people for his next show –  and that’s how I came to be part of the Performance Ensemble. It’s been brilliant!

I’ve been living with my sister Alice in lockdown. We are very different – but we have got to know each other better during this time. My hearing has become worse, though, so we do have misunderstandings. But we sort them out in the end. It will be good when things get back to normal again. 

Ann Coates - Independence - Story #109

 Ann Coates  – Independence       

“The greatest gift you can give your children is independence.” My mantra as my children grew. There were barriers and boundaries, yes, but surmounting those are necessary to growth too. It was only in relatively recent years that I realised this: the gift of independence brings pain to the giver. I left home in Liverpool at eighteen for college, not choosing to go to one of the two local ones, but to travel far south, beyond the familiar homelands of the north, to Leicester – nearly in the south, in the minds of my parents.  Trunks were loaded on a train and a daughter was waved off for three months at a time. A letter once a week and a very occasional phone call.

I didn’t know until much later that they were asked by more than one friend, “Why is Ann going so far away?” The same question was asked again, when instead of coming back home, I lived in Nottingham, flat sharing for three years. It was all a bit too daring in the sixties!  But they let me go, let me spread my wings and learn – about how other lives were lived, and about me too. Apart from a few months, I never did go back to live in my loving family home. They gave me the gift of independence.

Fast forward. Now two of my three children have lived across the world for over twenty years: my son – first in New Zealand, now in Germany, my daughter – in Israel. I have six grandchildren whom we have to fly to, to meet. This recent ‘unprecedented situation’ with Covid, has made them all seem so much further away. Friends over the years have said, “ How do you cope with them living all that way away?” and I have always been able to explain that they are there, knowing that we love them, and we are here, knowing that they love us. “And we can always hop on a plane.”  So when that certainty was suddenly removed, the pain was truly felt. WhatsApp and video calls are all very well, but they don’t deliver a hug, or a shoulder to cry on when it gets hard. I know now what my mum and dad went through all those years ago, when they gave me that precious gift.

Sonja Miller - Who would have thought? - Story #110

photo: Mike Pinches

Sonja Miller – Who would have thought?

I am holding in my hands an oval-shaped photo frame. A typical 1950s family portrait. From left to right: a girl standing – she is twelve years old; then a boy, almost four years old – also standing. Then seated, the mother: she is elegant and beautiful, thirty seven years old.  On her knee, a baby of fifteen months. Furthest right, another boy standing, thirteen years old. The mood of the photograph is formal: a staged moment in time. Where is the father? Perhaps the photographer? No. The father was a professional man with many strings to his bow – but he certainly wasn’t a photographer. I am the baby, the little girl sitting on my mother’s knee; the other children are my siblings. My elder brother, the boy standing on the right, is now seventy five years old. His once thick, dark, curly hair is now thin. His bright eyes are sad. He is physically frail, a shadow of his former self. He has Alzheimer’s, in Stage Five of this cruel, insidious disease – the  ‘moderately severe cognitive decline’ stage.

As there were twelve  years between us, I only vaguely remember him when he was living at home. But I do remember my mother asking me, as I was on my way out to school, to go upstairs and tell him to get out of bed and get ready for work. I remember going with my parents to London, to collect him on his return from Australia (he brought me a life-size koala bear!) I remember him teasing me and cracking jokes, his quick-fire repartee. I remember him leading the singing, making our Passover table fun and lively. I remember him dancing and singing to The Night Has A Thousand Eyes by Bobby Vee.  I remember him smoking and drinking whisky. I remember him always being in trouble and at odds with our father.

The other boy in the photo is the brother I grew up with. We shared, laughed, played, fought, spent time with our parents, without our two elder siblings. My two brothers and I are all in Leeds now. Who would have thought, when looking at this photo that the second youngest sibling would end up caring for the eldest?  For that is what he has done for his elder brother for several years now – and not just since the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. He has always been there, advising him, supporting him, assisting him, caring for him. He is, in every way, his carer. If it hadn’t been for him, it is unlikely our elder brother would have survived even this long. Our elder   brother’s lifestyle has certainly contributed to his own demise. And seeing him how he is now –  makes the memories even more poignant. 

Rob Baker - Locked down Morris Dancer - Story #111

Rob Baker – Locked down Morris Dancer

The last time Leeds Morris Men danced in public was at Wakefield Rhubarb Festival on Saturday 22nd February 2020. We danced The Soldiers Joy in memory of one of our friends from Forest of Dean Morris Men, who had passed away in January. Little did we realise that we were also saying goodbye to a full season’s dancing from April to September – including  every Thursday evening, outside a range of Leeds pubs (usually two pubs a night). We are connoisseurs of the best of Leeds’ pubs! Then there would have been our regular bookings at summer festivals across England, from sunny Whitby to Sheringham on the Norfolk coast. 

I am a relative newcomer to Leeds Morris, having danced with the side for a mere twenty nine  years. Other members have danced for forty and even fifty or more years. The club was founded at Leeds University in 1950, though nowadays very few members are connected with the University. I’ve always loved to dance: from being the only boy in my primary school country dance team, through an adolescence of rock n roll, a young adulthood of disco, Hi Ho Silver Lining, pogo-ing, and some international folk dance, until I found my real niche at the ripe old age of forty two. For me, Leeds Morris has been more than great exercise, music, beer and good company: it has kept me relatively sane through job losses, phases of unemployment, family breakdown, mental health crises and bereavement. Not that the average Morris man is a great counsellor. Can you imagine? No, but Morris has been a reliable, available, always welcoming leitmotif throughout all those years. It can even be seen as a form of moving meditation, where worries can be cast aside, as we merge ourselves with the music and the patterns of the dance. Not completely deterred by the present circumstances of Covid 19, we are meeting  on-line, and even managed a dance for our traditional tour of the Yorkshire Dales, on May Bank Holiday Monday. In reality, it was a dozen or so of us, recording ourselves dancing the same dance, solo, in our living rooms, yards and gardens. The contributions were then cleverly edited together by one of our younger members and posted on Facebook for all to see –  including those villages which have welcomed our visit, every May for the last sixty eight  years. No longer locked down: but virtual!

Pat White - Bus Journey in Nepal - Story #112

Pat White – Bus Journey in Nepal

To celebrate my sixtieth birthday,  I went on a group trip to Nepal. We landed at the airport in Kathmandu and then spent three  exciting days in this chaotic city. Car horns blasted all day and stray dogs barked all night. I loved the ancient temples, the bicycle rickshaws, and the beautiful Buddhist prayer flags flapping against a clear blue sky.

Then it was time to climb into our minibus, leave the city and head for the mountains. We set off through the dust and the noise, and edged our way through snarled up junctions, where no one seemed to have the right of way. We travelled slowly, as the roads were so bad, and as we bounced our way through potholes, we had plenty of time to see life in the villages. Children played among the fruit trees, dogs slept in doorways, and goats fed on the vegetable waste thrown from roadside stalls.

Eventually we left the villages behind too, and entered an idyllic land of clean, sparkling rivers, hills covered in wildflowers and, in the background, magnificent snow-capped mountains. Not much traffic now, just beautiful countryside.

I looked out of the bus window and saw an old woman on the river bank – perhaps washing, or just resting? How lovely, I thought, to sit by the water in such a gorgeous landscape. What a wonderful life. But then, as the bus turned, the sun glinted off something in her hand. Intrigued, I asked the guide, did he know what she was holding? “It is a hammer”, he said.

She was smashing river stones by hand, and selling the resulting aggregate for road building. She worked all day, pounding at the pebbles, filling her bucket for just a few rupees. Life for her was not idyllic at all, it was brutally hard, long into her old age.

I had been entranced by the beauty of the place, and failed to see the reality. You don’t understand a country from one sanitised, fleeting visit. You need to dig deeper.

Maureen Willis - Number Three Bus - Story #113

“I’m on the bus” says the passenger sitting at the side of me.

I’m on “that bus” says I.

The dreaded number 3, Corn Exchange to White Rose, a journey I’ve come to hate.

I leave my car at White Rose and get the number 3 so I can use my bus pass.

Is it worth witnessing the dark side of human nature to save the cost of parking in town and doing my bit for the environment?

“Open the fucking doors, before I kick them in” says passengers who wants to be dropped off at traffic lights, driver refuses, he then starts fisting the screen protecting the driver.

“Please don’t put your feet on the seat” says polite passenger to young, head-shaven male. “What’s it got to fucking do with you where I put my fucking feet”

Drunk, staggering towards me, shouldn’t have given him eye contact, before we’re at the next stop, he’s asleep on my shoulder, snoring heavily.

At least he doesn’t tell me to fuck off when I wake him up!

Children in pushchairs crying, desperately trying to attract their mother’s attention away from their mobile phone.

Young child running up and down bus with can of fizzy pop, mum oblivious, looking out of window, knew it was going to end in tears, whole can exploded down front of ample bosomed young woman, dressed in red who got off at Fred Windsor’s massage and health club “Look what your fucking child has done!”

The mother continues staring out of the window.

“What’s wrong with my ticket?” says the passenger when the driver refuses it. “It’s out of date, mate”

He then proceeds to berate driver, shouting, banging on screen, spitting at him. We remain stationary, police are called, passenger legs it.

Then, thank heavens, PR1 opens.

I can now leave my car in the car park, hop on the bus and am in Leeds in 10 minutes.

The journey is calm and quiet, passengers smile, say “Good morning” and thank driver at end of journey.

It costs £2, but is worth every penny, my faith in humanity restored.

Marcia Wright – Baking a Cake - Story #114

Marcia Wright in 'Crossing' at Stage@Leeds, University of Leeds February 2020. Photo: Mike Pinches

Marcia Wright – Baking a Cake

I’ve always enjoyed making cakes. When I was young I was appointed chief cake maker by my mother; she was a great plain cook-  a master of the roast dinner – but had little enthusiasm for the sweet stuff. As a teenager on a permanent diet, I took vicarious pleasure from seeing grateful family members wolf down generous portions of chocolate cake, whilst I nibbled on a couple of hard boiled eggs, or whatever the latest miracle food for weight loss was that day.

When I left home for college, I joined a cookery book club. This raised a few eyebrows, when copies of the latest Good Housekeeping Cookery Book arrived alongside the Penguin Collection of Absurd Drama and Improvisation: A Guide.

When my sister was diagnosed with Coeliac disease, I was happy to devise gluten free alternatives to her favourite treats, and this nurturing with food continued joyfully, when I became what was then classed as a ‘geriatric mother’ at the age of 42. Even after my son left home, I happily continued to supply his food, courtesy of the very obliging Hermes Next Day parcel delivery service.

The advent of arthritis did not dampen my enthusiasm for rustling up a tasty treat. My lack of mobility was not a hindrance in the kitchen, and food proved a great way of taking my mind off the increasing pain in my hip.

I had been delighted to learn in February 2020, that I had been given the go ahead for a hip replacement operation, to take place in early May. I looked forward excitedly to being mobile and pain free once more. Then, on the 23rd March 2020, the unseen threat of a microscopic virus forced the entire population of the British Isles to retreat indoors to the safety of their own four walls.

We must stay at home to save lives.

With my operation cancelled –  and with renewed uncertainty about my future health prospects – I rushed to embrace the sanctuary of the kitchen. This became my safe place, where I could continue to nurture my family from afar, as I tried out new recipes for them to enjoy. The more shocking the news from outside, the more I found respite in the creation of culinary delights, to banish troubling thoughts and soothe my soul. After  eight weeks in our communal quarantine, I started to sense my life entering a new phase . The lockdown was partially lifted. Social distancing was the new norm, mask wearing optional – except in shops and on buses  .

I experienced a rekindling of hope, when there was an announcement that all routine operations were to be resumed, although no one knew exactly when. A glance at the scales tells me I now need to concentrate on preparing myself once more for this life-enhancing procedure. There is a new phenomenon in town – the Quarantine Fifteen, a reference to the excess weight many of us are predicted to have gained during the lockdown period. So I’m bidding a fond farewell ( for the time being at least!) to the Bakewell Tart and the Gin and Tonic Lemon Drizzle cake.I’ve dusted down the juicer, and opened up the healthy eating cookery book. This book promises guilt free baking. My next foray into the kitchen will tell if the recipe for courgette and pumpkin seed muffins hits enough of the sweet spot, to set me on the right track to a new and better me. Fingers crossed.

Lesley Roebuck - Lost on the Bus - Story #115

Lesley Roebuck – Lost on the Bus

It was a Sunday morning in June 1973. My husband, my son – who was seven months old, daughter – eighteen months, and of course myself, had been to my in-laws for the day. We had to get a bus there and a bus back –  which was a bit of an ordeal. My in-laws lived in Headingley, and we lived in Armley. Everything went to plan on the morning journey. We had a lovely time that day, and decided to get the bus back home in the early evening. We caught the single decker at the end of Queenswood Drive, got the pram and various other things onboard, and sat down. I was on the long seat at the side of the bus, and put my handbag at the side of me, as I was holding the baby.

We arrived at our stop at the top of Armley Town Street, got off, and started to walk home, when I realised I had left my handbag on the bus. I went into panic mode, as the door keys to the house –  and all my money –  were in my bag.  When we got back to the house, my husband had to break the door down, so that we could get inside.

With it being a Sunday, the lost property department was shut. After a sleepless night, as soon as I knew the lost property department would be open, I phoned them up. I asked if a handbag had been handed in the previous evening. They asked me various questions, and I had to let them know exactly what the contents of the bag were. To my great relief  – it had been found. And I breathed a sigh of relief. They told me I could go and collect it, but I would have to pay fifty pence to claim it back. That was quite a lot of money in those days –  but it was well worth it. I will never forget that bus journey on the 91 single decker as long as I live.

Emma Truelove - The Appointment - Story #116

I have been waiting, days and weeks, but it has arrived at last.

I thought she had forgotten me

But no –

She remembers.

After all, I am a twice a week girl.

Regular as clockwork.

Tuesday and Friday 11.30am.

 

“What is it you want and is Friday at 11.30am OK?”

I have an appointment at last.

I think I will go for the works

 Cut, colour and blow dry.

Yes… I’m in.

 

I arrive to a great deal of change.

*Attend only at the allotted time.

*Press the doorbell to be allowed entry wearing your mask.

*Wash your hands.

*Bring a bag in which to place your coat and bag.

 

The salon has been redecorated and reorganised.

Only two clients at a time, no waiting area.

Sinks and chairs have been moved –  two metres apart.

Perspex divides the chairs.

Julie is in full PPE.

Deborah Fahey - Adventure on a Bus - Story #117

Deborah Fahey – Adventure on a Bus

Recently, I went on my first bus ride with my motor scooter. Mum, my step-dad Richard and Nitisha, a volunteer who takes me out, went with me. When the bus came, the driver parked in front of the bus shelter, which made it impossible to lower the ramp. Another bus had parked behind us, so he went to talk to his friend and ask him to back up. He did this (followed by a line of passengers who were trying to get on). My driver came back and reversed into position. Down came the ramp and I drove on.

Now, I am not used to my scooter yet, so I went straight into his cab! I reversed and had another go. This time I managed to turn the front wheel –  but again, I hit the cab. I tried three or four times, and am glad to say that drivers’ cabs are made of strong stuff. At last I managed to turn into the aisle. Now came the problem of the small bay at the front of the bus. This time I discovered the strength of the seats and the pole. Again I made several attempts. Eventually, Richard climbed on, and told me to get out and sit on the seat. I was not happy about this – and tried again. All this time the bus driver was doing his best to help, and the other passengers sat waiting patiently. Mum had gone right to the back of the bus. She thought this was the safest place to be, whilst I was wrecking the front. Again, Richard told me to get onto a seat, and he would move the scooter in by hand. So I thought, “ I will not tell him how heavy it is. We shall watch him struggle.” The clever so-and-so flicked the switch that let him move it, and with some humping  got it in.

By now the bus was about ten minutes late but nobody complained.  I am glad we did not tell the driver we were only going four stops. We got to Crown Point in Leeds, and Richard and Nitisha managed to get the scooter off quite easily. The bus driver and passengers must have been very glad to see the back of us. When it was time to go back home again, Nitisha and I looked at the buses – and said no. Instead, I drove all the way home on the scooter. It was quite an adventure, but I think next time we will go by taxi.

Chris Birch - Bus Trip to Bronte Land - Story #118

Chris Birch –  Bus Trip to Bronte Land

On Friday, 27th July, 2018, I enjoyed a magnificent bus trip. It started in the hamlet of Utley, and took us to Haworth, home of the Bronte family: Bronte Land itself. The weather was perfect – lots of hot sun appearing through the early cloud. My long time friend, Eileen, came with me. Eileen once lived in Haworth, so she was the ideal tour guide. All other planning was simplicity itself. Normally we drive, but today we were going by bus. We looked at the official timetables and selected our chosen routes and times. Everything worked. At Utley, our first, patient bus driver was (coincidentally) called Chris, and he picked us up in his tiny Hopper bus, for the one and a half mile journey into Keighley. Then we boarded the B1 Stanbury bus. Our second driver was called Bob, and he too was friendly and happy. We stopped at the War Memorial, dedicated to the memory of the thirty eight Haworth soldiers who died in France in 1918. And we were pleased to learn that the Kings Arms pub, which is close by, always welcomes dogs and muddy boots. A former landlord, Enoch Thomas, was friend and confidant to Branwell Bronte. And another landlord, Joseph Fox, a confectioner, provided all the food for Emily Bronte’s funeral feast.

Once we arrived, we sat in the Bronte Parsonage garden, admiring the honesty plants and the roses. We met and spoke to visitors from Italy, America, Canada, Japan, Germany and Sweden. We saw the plaque commemorating the opening of the Bronte Museum in 1878. And on the day we were there, celebrations had just begun for the  200th anniversary of Emily Bronte’s birth, on 30th July, 1818. It was pleasing to see the Haworth allotments, full of runner beans, yellow courgettes and brassica plants, and among them, big butterflies and heavy bees. We visited the Apothecary, with its traditional ancient cures, and had lunch there. And wherever we went, we were given free samples of food, of flowers, of perfume and aftershave.

Julie was our driver on our bus journey back, and she was friendly and reassuring. Both Eileen and I felt privileged to have been part of the continuing, unfolding tapestry that binds this country together. Together in sickness and in health. Together in conflict. Together in fairness. Together as one, in a series of common causes, common interests: together in friendship and fellow feeling.

Bernard Ramsden - Burton the Tailors - Story #119

Bernard Ramsden – Burton the Tailors

Growing up in the sixties and early seventies, it seemed that everyone in Leeds had worked for Burton’s, or knew someone who did. My grandmother was a machinist there, my mother worked for them doing secretarial work, and I spent a year there in 1976/77, doing statistics and data analysis, during my Maths degree.

Burton’s was the creation of Montague Burton: a Jewish refugee who came to Leeds in 1900, all on his own, to escapethe Russian pogroms. He was fifteen years old when he arrived; well educated – but unable to speak any English. Within a year he was in Cheetham Hill, Manchester, selling ready-made suits. In 1903, he set himself up as a general outfitter in Chesterfield. By 1913 he had five men’s shops and was manufacturing in Leeds.

He was excused from military service and continued to expand his business, winning a contract in 1916 to make uniforms for the war, then demob suits when the war was over.  His business continued to grow, and was floated on the Stock Exchange in 1929.

In 1934, a canteen seating 8,000 people was built on their site at Hudson Road Mills, Leeds. It was the largest in Europe. And the site itself had over 10,000 employees. Burton’s went on to become the largest supplier and manufacturer of bespoke suits in the world. A quarter of British military uniforms in World War Two were made by Burton’s. Montague Burton himself died in 1952, but the company continued to thrive, and reached its manufacturing peak in the early sixties.

Apparently, the term the Full Monty originated here. Nothing to do with stripping steel workers, but a reference  to demobbed servicemen, coming to Burton’s for their jacket, trousers, waistcoat, shirt and underwear. Everything they needed. The Full Monty.

The market for men’s clothing changed in the sixties and seventies, and by 1976, when I was working there, Burton followed the other two big suit suppliers in Leeds, Hepworth and John Collier, and reduced manufacturing  – buying in ready-made suits from elsewhere. Hepworth became Next in 1982 and in 1985 John Collier became part of the Burton Group, who then discontinued the brand.

During my time there, the Burton share price reached its lowest ever level. At about this time, the Organisation and Methods department next door employed a new analyst. He didn’t come in as a manager or high-flyer, but he saw something when he joined, that no one else did, and at the end of his second week, he announced he’d just bought £10,000 pounds worth of Burton shares. Everyone thought he was mad, but he wasn’t, as the share price tripled in value over the next six months.

I do remember the Burton’s canteen from the seventies – although I doubt it would actually seat 8,000 people. What I did find disconcerting was the pigeons that came in – and flew around freely inside. I was always worried that they might drop bombs on my food. Next to the canteen was a snooker room. I never went in, because  I’m rubbish at snooker – but those using it seemed to take it very seriously. Apparently many of Burton’s shops had snooker halls above them.

I spent a week working in their shop at the top of Briggate. No snooker room there, but one thing stands out in my memory. A middle aged couple came in: he was called George, no idea of his wife’s name. Every time he tried something on he liked, his wife would respond, “No George, you can’t wear that delete as appropriate. It’s too big/too small/makes you look fat/makes you look thin/it’s the wrong colour/it doesn’t suit you”. Eventually he found and bought something that got her approval. Did he like it himself? I never found out.

I very rarely ventured onto the shop floor itself, which was 99 percent female, but I was warned that there was one day of the year, when a fresh faced twenty year old should avoid it altogether. Christmas Eve. I heeded the warning, so I don’t know what I missed out on.  But I have wondered ever since.

Catherine Mellor - Paros - #120

© Mike Pinches. All Rights Reserved.
 Catherine Mellor – Paros

February 1980: a change of life, a whole new chapter. I was twenty five years old. A relationship had finished. And a chance meeting with a friend planted a seed. “Why don’t you go to Greece? It’s easy to find casual work.” So off I went.

After a three day overland trip on the Magic Bus, London to Athens, we were there. Now which ferry to take? After a quick trip to Santorini, Paros was the final choice. A good friend had come with me for the first two weeks, but when she went back to England, I was desperately lonely. Now it was just me. And I didn’t know a soul. But that soon changed.

I rented a room for a few days, then started to meet many people who had made a similar journey. They were helpful and informative, and the local people welcomed me with open arms. My first contact was Peter from Dublin, a musician who had come to Greece on retreat. He helped me to find a long term let. It was a donkey shed!

The shed was owned by small time farmers Dimitri and Georgia, who welcomed me into their family with open arms. They became the backbone to my stay, and I spent many evenings with them on their open terrace, eating, drinking homemade retsina, dancing and communicating, in whatever way we could. At the end of the evening, I would pick my way down the hill, back to the donkey shed – where I mainly slept on the roof, under the stars. Once I got there, a comforting shout from the family would boom down the hillside in the darkness, some minutes later: “Kalinychta Katarina!”

The work I did included nude modelling for an American Art School, renovating a bar for the summer season, hotel work, and making and serving food at the Port Cafe: the sole gateway to the island. I spent hours watching the world go by, and soaking up the sounds of the ferries and the chatter of voices. One particular night had a profound effect on me. It was a moonlit evening – sunset was always  6.30 to 7 o’clock –  on a sheltered, open space overlooking the sea. There was an organised gathering of friends, with visitors from around the globe and locals – all speaking many different languages, and with no language in common. Except MUSIC. We sang, danced and drummed for hours, communicating in this universal language: listening and sharing each other’s joy of music and the rhythm and beat of being human.

Leaving my Greek island paradise after eight months was painful. There were tears. The simplicity of life there had given me time to appreciate the beauty of life and of nature, and to give space to quiet reflection. Arriving back in the city, in Athens, was difficult. After months enjoying the gentle noises of the countryside, with just the ferries, the mopeds and the donkeys, bustling urban life was quite overwhelming.

To this day I remember my time on the island: its rugged beauty, the slow pace of life, and the generous spirit of its people. It taught me so much, for which I will ever be grateful. Paros has – and will always have –  a big and special place in my heart. 

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