Stories Volume 7
Introduction > Stories #162 to #180
Colin - Light Night - #162
On the Tuesday I went for a walk organised by Age UK around Kirkstall Abbey. I saw some scaffolding up and thought what is that about? Is a wall falling down? But then I realised that it was for preparation for Light Night Leeds.
So on Thursday Night I went out the house about seven o’clock. A walked about 400 yards to my friend’s house Liv and had some steak, tatties, and carrots and mushrooms. And then we set up to go to Kirkstall, when she said to me “Have you got your blue badge?” I said “Not with me.” “Well go back and get it” so we went. We then picked up a friend son’s lad up, and off we went to Kirkstall Abbey.
We watched the lights, the light show, which was all in the Abbey itself. There were a big screen set. And then the another big screen inside the what-do-you-call- it (nave) and it kept showing you starlings, you get a lot of starlings in the Abbey. And they all come flying around. And music was playing. And then there a bit where you could make lanterns and painting stuff. There were quite a few people there. It was different and I enjoyed it because it was something I don’t normally do. I don’t normally go out on a night. So that were an experience for a start-up.
Liv asked me if I would like to go into town with her on Friday night.
No, I’m not willing to go, there’ll be too many people. No, I’m not going. And there were loads of people there. Liv sent me photos. I loved the owls.
Barry - My Contact With The NHS - #163
At 10:55 I arrived at Age UK headquarters. Mark Lane, Leeds 2 Alan Lyddiard from State of the Ark and performance ensemble project was collecting 1,001 stories by the over 60s. for Leeds Cultural Festival August 2023.
I then went into the St. Johns Centre looking for the battery for my phone. I was not successful.
I got home about 1:00 o’clock, had my dinner. I was having pains in my tummy and then started vomiting.
I started phoning the doctor about 3:00 o’clock. They kept telling me I was seven in the queue six in the queue 5 in the queue etc. After 55 minutes when I spoke to the receptionist she told me that there was no one available for me to talk to. She suggested that I dial 111. 111 told me they would book an appointment with St. Georges Hospital, Middleton. I have to ring them to confirm it. When I phoned them they told me they had no appointments. They had told 111 that was the situation. They suggested that I contact Wharfdale Hospital Otley. The nurse practitioner I spoke to told me there was no one there who could deal with my problem. She suggested I dial 999 for an ambulance I was told an ambulance was on its way. A bit later someone phoned from the ambulance service and asking me questions about my problems. They then told me the ambulance was being cancelled and they would book me a phone appointment with an out of hours GP.
The nurse practitioner from Wharfdale phoned me back asking me if I managed to sort it out. I told her that they had cancelled the ambulance she said that was not satisfactory. She said she would phone the ambulance service and order an ambulance for me. I was then told an ambulance was on its way. Ambulance arrived at 7:00 o’clock. Plus a doctor in a car. He left when he knew I was in the ambulance. After doing tests in my home the ambulance took me to accident and emergency St. James Hospital. I was concerned due to the fact that 3 years ago I had similar stomach pain which resulted in an emergency operation for a blocked bowel and caught pneumonia.
I was given all sorts of tests. Put on all sorts of drips-anti sickness-painkillers–antibiotics etc. Had my blood tested. They kept asking me if I thought there was blood in my vomit as the ambulance team thought there was, I said I thought it was chocolate.
3:00 o’clock on Thursday morning I was sent for an Xray of my chest and abdomen. 10 o’clock I was sent for a scan of my chest and abdomen.
At 1:30 I had tuna sandwich and a cup of tea. After 15 minutes I brought this all back. I was then sent to a Surgical Assessment unit to see a consultant. She examined me and said that the scan showed my lungs and stomach were OK. She said that I could go home, rest and take it easy. She said a tuna sandwich was a bad choice, soup would have been better, all I was offered for lunch was sandwiches, biscuits and a drink.
I waited 45 minutes for a taxi. Arrived home at 7:30. Didn’t lock my door properly so it was left open all night.
At 85 years old my big problems was getting on and off beds and trolleys x-ray and scan, at home I have attached to my bed a bar which I can pull on to get out of bed. I suggested this to the scan team or that should get a rope suspended from the ceiling to help people pull themselves up they said they were not provided with that kind of thing. I always feel cold when I’m in hospital, staff were always commenting on how many clothes I have on, when I was in hospital during the 2018 big freeze I had 3 coats on in bed to keep warm.
Christine Pitts - Recycling - #164
The other day I was in a coffee lounge when some teenagers were talking about recycling. The leader looked at me and said “You older lot don’t know what it is like to recycle. We have separate bins for plastic, paper and all sorts of stuff.”
I was furious.
I said “Let me tell you about my generation and recycling. We wasted nothing. For example you’re used to plastic pop bottles but we had glass bottles and they were returnable – I’d take them back to the shop and get two pennies back. It gave us children a source of pocket money. We’d ask friends and neighbours if they wanted us to take their bottles back. Milk bottles were returned to the dairy, washed and used time and time again. And we all got our groceries from a grocers shop instead of a supermarket – everything was weighed out into paper bags – there was very little plastic.
Even our newspaper was recycled at the fish and chip shop, they used to give us a free bag of chips for clean newspapers, or we’d use them for firelighters. As a child I’d get around by walking or people had bicycles, there was much less traffic on the road. We didn’t use cars to drive to school, we walked even as young as 5 years old. There isn’t a need for all this traffic. It’s chock–a–block tail to tail. None of the families I knew had holidays abroad – so fewer planes in the sky. We’d put any food waste in a pig bin and a pig breeder would collect your food waste. And shoes weren’t thrown away but taken to the cobbler to mend.
This year me and my husband have stocked up with extra blankets and water bottles because we know we aren’t going to be able to afford heating.
Doreen - Managing - #165
In my forties I had a nervous breakdown. I took some tablets. I rang my sister and she got in touch with my husband, who came home and sent for the doctor.
At midnight I went into hospital and had my stomach pumped and was then put on a ward for ten days. After I was released I was sent to a day centre for a few months. The people there were very kind. I liked the day centre. We did crafts. It was there that I received electric shock therapy. I was given it eight times. It gave me awful headaches that lasted for hours after.
I’ve had depression all my life. I was put on lithium and told you’ll be on these tablets until you die. I’m 85 now. I had breast cancer ten years ago. My husband said to me you dealt with it really well. When he died I went back to my home. My family said “We didn’t know if you could manage going home, but you have.” I’ve got a nice family, four great grandchildren, two boys, two girls. They make my day when they come round.
I look forward. I do a lot of knitting. I’m knitting a cardigan for Christine. We help each other. Friendship is important. I’ve been bowling with her and another friend. We weren’t sure about it when we were invited, but we ended up having a lovely time. I need to get out and about everyday.
Margaret West - The Longest Clap - #166
During my childhood the electricity on my island in the Caribbean was only in the homes of the rich folk and on the street. Poor people like my mother just had a kerosene lamp. Which you had to buy and it was very expensive.
My mother was a farm labourer. My father died when I was nine or ten. There were seven children and my mother in the house.
The kerosene was expensive. So to save fuel we didn’t light the lamp til the last minute. On moonlit nights we sat outside in the front garden. At the side there was this big flat rock. It was our stage. And when we started at Primary school, to check on our progress my mother made us stand on the rock and recite something to show what we had learnt, sing a song or one plus one is two, simple things. And we all got a clap but we’d see who got the longest clap.
At the end of the evening we’d tell ghost stories. And when we were all scared someone had to go behind the house and get the chamber pot as there was no indoor toilet.
I started off as a Primary school teacher then transferred to Secondary school, teaching modern languages. I had a house and car and I was getting settled.
But in 1989 there was a hurricane, which took half my house. With the insurance I managed to rebuild it. Then in 1995 there was a volcanic eruption. My house was right in the line of fire. This was in Montserrat, which is a British Colony.
Two thirds of the island became unsafe and uninhabitable, due to the vast amounts of volcanic ash and lava and the constant spurts of violent eruptions. So people were scared and wanted to leave.
We wondered where to go. Perhaps to England, the Mother Country. They were supposed to help us but didn’t seem to want us to come. They just gave us food vouchers. You had to queue to get your groceries in brightly coloured plastic bags. You couldn’t use the vouchers to buy alcohol. But my alcohol was non-alcoholic cider. That was the first thing I got with my voucher.
After a year England said “Ok you can come” and I came in 1996 when I was 44. They said you had to have someone to stay with initially and then you can apply for a Council house.
At first British Airways reduced the fares. And then after the second Volcanic eruption when 19 were killed the UK they paid for people to come.
My journey to Leeds lasted almost 24 hours. First to Antigua, then London and on to Leeds on a National Express Coach.
When I arrived in Leeds I forgot my second suitcase in the coach. I reported it in the coach station and retrieved my case the following morning. The coach driver told me he did not understand how anyone could forget such a large case.
At first I could not understand what English people in Leeds were saying. The combination of their accents and the actual words they used seemed like a foreign language. The official language in Montserrat is English but this sounded nothing like what I was used to.
The Housing Manager told me there was no flat available for me. When I pointed out that I had seen lots of empty houses in the neighbourhood, he said: “Oh, that is not a very clever area. I cannot put you there.” A friend had to explain to me what the word “clever” meant in that context.
Most of the local people I met were pleasant and welcoming. But I quickly learned that they did not like to be greeted first. If I greeted them first they would act as if I had not spoken.
Michael Hassell - In At The Deep End - #167
The long hot summer of 1976. It’s Friday night and Lucy and I are sat in the Junction Pub in Bradford surrounded by our friends. What we need is a nice cool swim, somebody says. There’s the outdoor pool at Manningham Park, somebody suggests. The evening moves on and soon it’s closing time. Are we going to the Nash somebody asks, (The International Club, on Lumb Lane)? Always a welcome regardless of colour, or sexual orientation, and never any trouble. I thought we were going swimming, somebody pipes up, and Fred (not his real name) has his car. Fred was from out of town, but a regular at the Junction, but did not drink much as he had to drive home. He wanted to be part of the group but was too reserved, and though we made him welcome, he was always the quiet one on the side-lines. So we all piled into his car, there must have been 6 or 8 of us, being totally irresponsible, but Fred couldn’t refuse. It wasn’t that far to Manningham.
We all piled out of the car, and into the park. Now all we had to do was to scale the walls. Impossible for us shorties. Still with the help of the ‘big boys’ we were all, girls included, hauled on to the top of the wall, before facing a terrifying drop down the other side. Maybe the amount of alcohol we had all consumed helped, and we all survived.
I don’t remember there being any Security Lighting or CCTV. We stripped off and jumped into the pool. There were Diving Boards, a Springboard, and a couple of slides. Everybody was enjoying themselves. I can’t remember how long we stayed, but eventually we decided we’d had enough. We didn’t have towels so we sat about drying off, before getting dressed. I was wearing a pair of jeans made with really heavy denim. I never wore jeans, still don’t, but a friend of mine who was going to Evening Classes for Sewing and Clothes Making made them for me. They were OK, but a bit heavy for summer. I was also wearing a pair of white Clogs.
When we had all got dressed, somebody suggested they throw me back in. They soon caught me and holding my arms and legs, after a couple of swings, I was launched in the deep end. I’m told I sunk to the bottom, and everyone peered anxiously into the pool. Nothing! After what seemed an age, two white clogs floated to the surface, followed a short time later by my head. I was pulled from the pool soaking wet, the heavy wet denim full of water. When they all stopped laughing we climbed back over the wall and made our way back to the car.
Surprisingly, I was allowed into the back of the car. So where to now? The clubs were closing, not that we’d be let in, dripping water everywhere. However, there was an ‘all night’ Café in Manningham, that would probably let us in. We sat there drinking tea and eating bacon sandwiches till dawn broke and everyone made their way home. There was a pool of water under the table where I had been sat, but nothing was said. My jeans were still wet when Lucy and I caught a bus into Bradford Centre, where we caught the bus to Leeds. I sat upstairs on the front seat, trying to dry out my clothes as the sun streamed in through the front window.
It had been just another night out in Bradford.
But now it was Saturday and Lucy and I had to plan our Saturday night out in Leeds. No mobile phones, no Social Media. No need. Everybody always met in the Viaduct, then round to The Peel on Boar Lane, and finish the night in Charlie’s; oh we all loved Charlie’s…
Alma Rushman - Family Ties - #168
Growing up, all our family and extended family lived close by to each other, there was always someone or other calling at the house or we would call at our grandmothers or one of our aunties at any time.
After my eldest brother got married at 16, his two daughters were looked after by my mother during the week so that their mother and father could go out to work. Although younger than us, they were like little sisters to me and my sister – we took them out with us, to the park, the shops and took them to school. Come Friday night when it was time for them to go home, there were often tears, I don’t think their mam and dad were too happy about that!
When me and my sister got married and left home, we still all lived near each other so there was always someone there to help you when you needed it. Later, we all went on holiday together, mainly to Scarborough, three families, six children, staying together in and B&B.
They were wonderful holidays, days spent on the beach, it didn’t matter to the kids what the weather was like and it was a lovely break from the drudgery of work for us.
Me and my sister often had jobs where we worked together – mainly cleaning jobs – the last 27 years we both worked at the Grand Theatre in Leeds. When our kids were babies we also worked delivering the Christmas post as temporary post women which lasted for about 4 weeks. It was hard work. You had to go back to the sorting office for another bag once you had delivered your first lot of post, but it was good money. One of my neighbours saw me one day trudging in the snow, lugging the bag of post and she came out and lent me a pram to put it on – what a relief!
Me and my sister lived next door to each other for 40 years before she died last year.
Kim Birch - Mad Man Or Hero? - #169
In September 1983, I set off travelling.
I had heard from a fellow traveller that it was possible to catch a ferry from Piraeus, the port of Athens, 1200 miles across the Mediterranean Sea, to Haifa in Israel, for the unbelievable price of 250 dollars. The only catch was that one had to sleep under the stars on the upper deck.
No problem. I had my sleeping bag and the weather was still warm. So, I bought my ticket for the next sailing.
Yet, I nearly didn’t make the trip, as when I arrived at the quay, about half an hour before boarding, I suddenly realised that I had left my passport in the hostel, back in Athens. In a state of pure panic, I ran in to the middle of the road and hailed the nearest taxi. I told the driver the story and that it would be touch and go if I got back in time. He just laughed and put his foot down to the floor, ignoring red lights and weaving in and out of traffic, he raced, with one hand pressing the horn almost continually.
At one place he did have to stop, and an irate driver asked him what the hell he was doing driving like a madman. My driver told him he was carrying blood for an urgent operation, and sped off.
Anyway, thanks to this hero taxi driver, we made it back in time for me to board the ferry. To my surprise, there were many other travellers taking advantage of this cut-price offer and for the 60 hour journey, we had quite a party.
Some guys had guitars, drums and tambourines and so we were well entertained. However, it was much colder at night than I expected and my sleeping bag wasn’t the best, so I didn’t get much sleep.
One guy had the bright idea of sleeping next to the funnel which would be warmer, but awoke with his face black with soot.I made up for the lack of night-time sleep by snoozing in the daytime sun and three days after leaving Athens I arrived in Haifa eager for more adventures.
Kath Pengilley - Stinky Cheese - #170
The campsite was about thirty miles further on and we pulled gratefully into our allotted area with a spectacular sunset setting over lake Como.
Unloading the bike I noticed the screw heads on the rear brake pads were through and had scored the disc quite badly. I pointed it out to Robert and after some discussion we decided that they would have to be replaced before we went much further.
The following morning we got the map out and found we were about thirty km outside of Turin. We agreed that there was no point packing up the bike, to unload her when we found a garage that could do the work, so Robert went off to find a Yamaha dealer in the city, leaving me alone at the campsite village. I used the launderette doing some much needed washing then hung it to dry and headed into the nearby village.
I wandered around did some shopping, bought some bread, salami, gorgonzola cheese some onions tomatoes and oranges from the various shops in the village. Then I found a cafe with some English books for sale. I spent a happy couple of hours reading the latest Stephen King novel, eating lunch, a chicken sandwich, and people watching while drinking coffee and water sitting outside it.
Noticing the time I decided to wander back to the camp as I was sure Robert would not be much longer. Arriving back I noticed our tent was now in full sun, I unzipped it and it was as hot as hell inside. I left the shopping in our cool box with the ice packs and went outside zipping up the tent behind me to keep the mosquitos out.
A couple of hours and I was heading for well done despite the copious amount of sun block I had slathered on. Thinking about finding some shade I took a blanket, my book, a cheese and tomato sandwich and a bottle of water down to the side of the lake. The trees gave me some relief from the blazing sun so I spread out my blanket, making sure I could see the tent, my reasoning being that when Robert got back he would be able to see me from the tent. Pretty soon I fell asleep.
I woke several hours later, the day gone and the sun beginning to sink in the sky. I wandered back to the tent. No bike no Robert. Reasoning that the repair might have taken longer than we thought or that Robert might have needed to drive around some to find a dealership I went for a shower convinced he’d be back and ready for a trip to the village for some dinner by the time I‘d finished.
Dried and dressed, still no sign of him. I gathered the washing which was now bone dry and sat to wait., by nine o’clock I was getting worried and my imagination was running riot. What if he’d had an accident? Did he have ID on him? How would they find me or even know I was here if he was unconscious in a hospital somewhere? What was I going to do? Reasoning that I shouldn’t panic and if he wasn’t back by the morning I‘d find a way to get into Turin, after all there must be a bus even if only weekly!
Sitting on a bench outside the shower block biting my nails and every now and again pacing around the building. I heard a distant engine. Was that the bike? A series of gear changes and I knew it was – I‘d recognise that engine note anywhere.
Robert pulled into the camp. I don’t think I`d ever been so glad to see him. Desperate for a shower he stripped his leathers and helmet off and opened the tent to get a towel and some clothes.
“OH MY GOD!” He exclaimed “What is that smell?!”`
I stuck my head into the tent and realised I hadn’t put the top back on the cool box
“Err… might be the cheese in the cool box” I said
“I think it‘s dead!” he said laughing.
The smell of that cheese haunted us for the rest of the holiday. Unable to stand it any longer, we left the tent at Knebworth festival the following year.
Julie - Self Defense - #171
Aged 9 years old I was bullied by a girl on the way to school. She kept hitting me. I went to bed so angry I couldn’t sleep.
The next day when I went into school I didn’t even take my coat off. I pulled her off her chair and dragged her round the floor by her hair. “If you hit me again remember I’m coming in the next morning” I shouted. Then I very calmly hung my coat up and sat down ready for class.
I now have a 13 year old girl. I have told her never to start something but if someone hits you to hit them back.
I don’t like bullying. I do like self-defence.
Margaret - Mynah Bird - #172
When I was a child, in the late 50’s I remember my Uncle Harold and his wife Liz came to visit.
At that time my Auntie Sheila, Harold’s sister was living with us. But on the day of their visit she was working.
Uncle Harold asked if we would like to go for a drive in the country, so my mother, father and myself all went in their car.
I remember stopping off at Otley and having afternoon tea in a quaint cafe with oak beams and a roaring fire.
In the corner there was a black bird in a cage. The waitress said it was a mynah bird and it could talk.
We were sitting enjoying our cream teas when out of the blue the mynah bird squawked “Where’s Sheila?”.
We just fell about laughing.
I think the waitress must have thought we were mad.
I couldn’t wait to tell my Auntie Sheila about it when we went home.
Geeta - A Sense of Freedom - #173
I retired three months ago. I was ill before, for three years, very ill. So I never thought I would make it. I had a very bad pain in my back.
Life is so busy; going to work, to survive, to pay the bills.
The day after I had retired, I had a lovely feeling. I’m free. I felt free of that routine you go through every single day. Get up, go to work, come home, do your cooking, parents, children, responsibilities.
The feeling is so lovely. Now I can get up when I want, go where I want, do what I want.
Maria - Strong Woman - #174
When Covid happened that was interesting for me because I found my old self again, my younger self, during Covid.
I was waiting outside my local shop, when we had to queue, it was a sunny day there was no traffic due to Lockdown and I could hear the birds singing. The skies were clear. We were so used to pollution before Covid. I was just standing there waiting in the queue – it was so calm and peaceful – and something just – I connected with the person I am, the older person I am now and it gave me an energised feeling. My younger self was always the rock of the family, the peacemaker, go getter, independent, can do person but the way life took me; I’ve had my ups and downs and kind of lost myself. So that moment was like I am strong, I am this warrior, I am this strong women that I hear people talk about. I want to hold on to that.
I’m at that stage where I get on with all ages. I’ve lived away and came back to Leeds six years ago. Leeds has changed a lot. It has progressed which is good but I want to find my place. I remember my younger days as fun. I want to have fun.
Pop Milton - Them Indoors - #175
I met my own wife when she came into the Leeds Co-op. She was a demonstrator working for a company called Buxted Chickens at the time. She’d cook a chicken on a rotisserie, then she’d cut it up and take it round for customers to try, with the offer of buying two for one. Even all those years ago, there was always some sort of offer.
We would usually sell maybe two boxes of chickens a week. But she managed ten in a day! In a week we’d sell seventy or eighty cases when she came in.
I was an under manager, so slightly older than my colleagues and the younger men are asking me “what do you think of her?”. I said “crap”. It was a joke that went on after we got married.
The boy that worked on the Greengrocery counter really did fancy Sandra but he was shy, so I said I’d ask her to come and join us for a coffee in our lunchtime. She agreed.
So there’s the three of us. The man who fancies the girl says nothing. And there’s me firing all these questions at her about where she lives. Turns out she knows The Fox at Wetherby where we used to go and I say “I’ll see you tonight, 7.30”
Don’t ask me why. Just came out. Sure enough, she turned up and we had a great night together. You know when you have a certain rapport.
Our first date, my wife to be says “I can’t ask you back because we don’t have any electricity”. I said “alright” but thought it was a line. She was very forthright and says “No, come with me, follow me – I can tell you don’t believe me”.
I follow her back to where she lives. She’s living in the middle of a field, in this bungalow with her mother.
It’s up a long drive and pitch black. You really can not see anything. Ever since I was a child I’ve been scared of the dark, so I wasn’t happy.
She unlocks the door and there’s this massive dog. Then I hear tap tap tap tap. It’s her mother coming into the room. Sandra introduces me as a colleague from work, her mother says hello and then tap tap tap tap goes away again. All in total darkness. But if I made any approach to Sandra, any at all, the dog would begin to growl.
Within three months we decided to get married.
Connie Hodgson - Madeira Means Water - #176
I was born in Madeira, it‘s a beautiful island located in the Atlantic Ocean.
My family was friendly with an English family from Leeds. After the birth of a baby boy they were home sick then they offered me a chance to come to England for two years as an au pair when I was only 16 years old. I took it.
I still have contact with the family. He is now grown up and lives in Saltaire.
When I was 18 I had no idea what to say to the Immigration Officer when he asked me why I wanted to stay in England. I think I said something about bigger dance halls – and he laughed, then I got a job at Carlton Studios.
If you asked me if I was homesick – yes I was. Sometimes I cried. But I would never admit it to my family back home.
But they all followed me three or four years later – both sisters and my parents they all settled in West Yorkshire. My mother died in March this year. She would have been 95 this June.
My sisters and I all married here and had children. I have 3 children, 8 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren with one more (a girl) expected in October. I see all of them now and then but they have busy lives and I have a busy life too!
I have had different jobs but for my last 30 years I worked as a nurse, at first I didn’t think I would last because the aspects of nursing is a demanding profession but I liked the contact with people and its rewarding job.
I remember meeting Paul Eddington (Margo’s husband from ‘The Good Life’) we treated him for skin cancer while he was acting at the Alhambra, he was friendly and charming to everyone. While I was I was tiding the Clinic he came and sat next to me and chat. It was sad when he died, still quite young.
I’ve been back to Madeira a few times. I think that’s why I like the open air so much, nature and growing things my dad was always growing flowers and vegetables – he always outside. My mum was never interested.
When I retired I took dancing lessons – and even some exams! It was at a dance session at the Ritz and Mytholmroyd that I met Alan from the Playhouse he wanted people for his next show, so that’s how I came to perform here and later to work. It’s been brilliant!
In lockdown I’ve been living with my sister Alice. We are very different but have got to know each other better. My hearing has got worse, so we have misunderstandings but we sort them out. It will be good when things get more back to normal.
So now you know something about me.
Mike Palfrey - Bus Stop - #177
I’ve spent a lot of my life on buses – quite right, too, seeing that omnibus means everything – it’s a universe, a world, all human life is there. I don’t drive, never have, and you can read on a bus, snooze on a bus, though not with any comfort, and, of course, you can miss your stop, and I have.
But much of the time I look, I listen (alright, eavesdrop). I observe. Because you see all kinds and conditions of people on a bus. I skate lightly over the annoying individuals who WILL sit next to you on a double seat when the bus is three fourths empty; I say even less about why these invaders are nearly always of … politely speaking… ample girth. Strange and unnerving encounters happen on a bus.
I still worry about the two young men, on separate occasions, who became offended because I was carrying a briefcase, and because I was reading a book. Why did they find this threatening, why become so enraged? Their abuse, while vehement, was disappointingly unimaginative.
Then there was the man in the adjacent double seats who, all the way from Wakefield to Leeds on the 117, carried on a heated quarrel in Polish with the man opposite – who wasn’t really there, but pursued his side of the argument enough to keep his antagonist in a state of fury that led him to seize the other by his imaginary lapels and give the air a Glasgow kiss. I’ve rarely been so pleased to see Leeds Bus Station.
Then – and I don’t need to tell you, you know – there are the ones who, no sooner seated, reach for their phones in, I think, an existential funk at the idea of having no-one to listen to them. They have …. (and are you one?) … no volume switch, leaving the innocent traveller awash with confidences they would much rather not know.
Julie - The Kindness of Strangers - #178
I had a difficult pregnancy. I was sick for 15 weeks and had a lot of pain. My labour was 23 hours. I had an emergency C section. I lost a lot of blood and my liver started to fail. My blood pressure was sky high. I never dilated properly and my baby’s heartbeat dropped to half of what it should have been twice.
When I returned home with my baby I had post-natal depression and scabies. I was so low. My confidence was at rock bottom.
I wasn’t a natural mother and at times I really struggled. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t bond with my baby and felt like a monster for not having loving thoughts and feelings towards her.
Before being pregnant I’d never heard of post-natal depression so I didn’t understand that I was ill.
Going to playgroup was the most difficult thing for me to do at the time as I’d never felt lower or more useless in my life.
I only went for the last 30 minutes as it had taken so long to pluck up the courage to get myself there.
What was brilliant was when I very timidly asked “Can I come in?”. Bernard the playgroup leader said: “Of course. Come in!” Just the smiling welcome I needed!
It was great at the group because there was support if I needed it but to start with I was left alone to find my feet. Exactly what I needed because anything else could have been overwhelming and I may not have returned.
Through the group I made friends and went on to attend other groups. Even helping out at playgroup when my daughter was at nursery.
The kindness I was shown will always live on in my heart. Never underestimate the power of a smile!
And by the way… post-natal depression affects so many people. Please don’t suffer in silence. Contact your G.P.
Edwin Long - Life Coaching - #179
I’ve lived in Leeds for more than forty years. I was a shy, well behaved, stay-at-home boy until my late fifties. Then I broke away from my former self to become a free spirit: travelling the world and having experiences I could never have dreamed of before.
There were night clubs, dancing, speed dating… At sixty three I learned rock climbing, and clambered over the rocks in Tenerife. Although I am afraid of water, I got my PADI certificate (Professional Association of Diving Instructors), and dived the Barrier Reef. I mixed with the Ladyboys and Girls in Thailand, and walked naked on foreign beaches. There was karaoke in public bars, music festivals, and much, much more.
A few years ago, I decided to go and live abroad in the sunshine. After several months in Jamaica, followed by Southern Spain, I finally found my utopia in Austin, Texas, USA. To get permission to live in the States, I set about owning my own business. After a spell of life coaching, I acquired my own franchise business with Adam and Eve, the leading company for adult pleasure products in the US.
But now I’m in a predicament. As yet, I have not completed all the business arrangements, so I had to depart from the US, after the ninety days permitted for a visitor’s stay. Now – because of the pandemic – they won’t let me back. So I’m trapped over here in the UK.
I’m picking up some of my former connections in Leeds again, and am looking for new ventures. I like the idea of being an entertainer, and of making people laugh. I like to dress expressively and colourfully, and have recently joined some modelling agencies. Most of all, I would love to perform male burlesque. I am a member of the Austin Academy of Burlesque, USA. I performed on stage there and got a terrific audience response. At seventy one years of age, you could say, I’m thoroughly enjoying my adolescence!
Lindsay - Small Reminders - #180
I joined Armley Industrial Museum gardening group at Easter. Recently I have planted a sunflower seed surrounded by Sapphire Lobelia in a pot and placed it at the entrance to the museum. I am making sure that it gets watered, because this area sometimes gets forgotten in the watering cycle.
A group of friends and I decided to grow these as a dedication to Ukraine. I chose the flowers to match the Ukraine flag.
I like to feed the birds because they seem to really appreciate it. Watching the little birds that come here. And if we have a meeting where it takes time before I can put the food out, you get all the birds coming down and starring at you – asking when are we getting fed, when are we getting fed.